I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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