then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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