does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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