Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
