Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
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legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
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Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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