i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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