Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
