Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I need to calm my uterus...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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