so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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