Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
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i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
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When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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