I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
