Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
