What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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