I love black thongs
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
