Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
