I hate your face
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
