How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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