Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
