that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
