so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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