In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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