You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
