this just has baby written all over it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
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This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
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I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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