i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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