There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
