I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
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some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
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Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP