Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups