you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
