I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
