Betty ford says i'm here all night
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize