Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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