I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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