Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.