how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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