This gyro tastes like lonliness
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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