I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
