Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
