I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
