So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
