I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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