I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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