The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
