love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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