You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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