My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
