I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
