My first STD was from a foam party
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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