Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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