You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
