so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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