WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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