I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
