I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize