you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
