There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
