I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
