took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Randomize
