This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
