so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
