Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
porn star boner night. come get it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
