apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
