I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize