Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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